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    關于紅包的說說 關于微信紅包的段子 要紅包的微信段子

    更新時間: 2017-02-20 閱讀:

      這個春節微信搶紅包又繼續火了一把,人們搶紅包搶得食不香、寢不安,也“搶”出了好多搞笑的段子,以下還有更多學習啦小編分享給大家的關于紅包的說說,希望大家喜歡

    關于紅包的說說

      1.今天被拉進了一個親戚群長輩們發紅包。突然發現長輩們微信里的圖也是不少。唯一不好的就是我爸媽也在上課搶紅包容易被發現。

      2.一天都沒課啊,這些傻逼都聚在一起搶紅包。

      3.這幾天搶紅包發紅包!打開一看,竟然是這么吉利的一個數字,想想還有點小恐怖呢。

      4.網上發現一個網友留言,挺有意思美國這個WTO的群主把中國帶進來之后發現中國只搶紅包,一塊錢都不發,還天天在群里和小伙伴們吵架,于是美國帶著一肚子不樂意的小伙伴們重新開了一個小群就是TPP。

      5.今天是國慶假后上班的第—天,沒有時間搶紅包了。

      6.不得不說互聯網是個好東西,盡管大家不在一起也如同一起,可以聊天,家里搞個群,媽媽很興奮的搶紅包,爸爸今天生日,也可以聽見外甥說生日快樂。很開心吧。

      7.今晚看到那些后邊喝茶邊聊天一邊發紅包一邊搶紅包,還有那天真的笑聲,仿佛又回到了少年時代。真好!

      8.過了一個普通的生日,雖然表面看起來東西不多,但也很滿足啦!昨天驚喜的收到了親愛的給我的大紅包,好開森,可以買好多我喜歡的啦啦啦啦!親愛的搶紅包太辛苦了,最近紅包運連連,哈哈,我生日這天立馬能賺。

      9.睡的熟深之際,猛的感覺一道光,眼睛瞬間瞇成一條縫,縫眼中露出一張無比熟悉的臉,在我耳邊親切的問道“斷網了是不是?快點起來幫我看看!我還要去搶紅包。”我能弱弱的拒絕么!胡大娘我的親娘誒,本小女是明天還要早起上班的人。沒有殺人放火等大事您就不要叫醒我求您了,良辰必有重謝!

      10.娘親超級可愛,一聽到我說搶紅包兩眼都發亮了✪ω✪,紅包,紅包在哪里,我也要搶,哈哈,我發現如果群里有紅包,娘親都是搶最high的,所以每過節日都要想辦法送她個小紅包意思意思。

      11.連搶紅包的時間都沒有更別說剪頭發換手機號了。

      12.搶紅包已經完全摧毀了我的價值觀。以前地上掉一毛錢我連看都不看,現在超過元我就覺得是一筆巨款,超過元我就窒息了,超過元眼眶就濕了,這年頭分錢都來之不易啊。鋤禾日當午,不如搶錢苦。對著破手機,一戳一上午。戳完一上午,還要戳下午。問你搶多少,總共兩毛五!一查流量費,花了二十五!

      13.我有一百種辦法提高搶紅包的速度,而你們卻無可奈何,如若放棄搶紅包,良辰必有重謝!

      14.他說我們來搶紅包吧,我說沒錢,他說你這么大的人了怎么連錢都沒有。

      15.坐在高鐵上,一邊啃雞翅一邊搶紅包,心情美美噠!

      16.最近搶紅包這手氣!杠杠的!一上午搶了接近十塊錢!看來姐的春天~~~來~~啦~~~

    關于微信紅包的段子

      1.人老了,也只能窩家里帶小孩,盯著手機和小屁孩們玩搶紅包了。

      2.搶個紅包就圖個開心,進去點個紅包,馬上有人告訴你你搶了誰誰誰的紅包或你搶紅包需要提前報名了,我霎時間有種想馬上吐出來又梗在喉嚨的惡心。

      3.長假的最后一晚,八點開始幾乎眼睛就沒離開過好聲音鳥巢年度決賽,個人認為貝貝最強,顏值高,唱功高,卻最先被淘汰?!是我欣賞水平落伍,還是另有貓膩?NN的,廣告多竟然還沒有搶紅包。

      4.搶紅包已經完全摧毀了我們的價值觀。以前地上掉一元錢我們連看都不看,現在超過元我們就覺得是一筆巨款,超過元我們就窒息了,超過元眼眶就濕了……鋤禾日當午,不如搶錢苦。對著破手機,一戳一上午。戳完一上午還要戳下午。問你搶多少總共兩毛五!一查流量費達到二百五!

      5.第一天上課,第一次上馬概課,老師帶著多人搶紅包。

      6.已經是十一最后一天了,希望大家多出去玩玩多吃美食和家人好好聊聊,最起碼去交一個女朋友,不要在這里用訓練多年的單身手速抱著手機來和我搶紅包。

      7.我多想你也在這里也能有個人幫著我說話大家七嘴八舌熱鬧非凡孩子們在搶紅包的時候搶贏了闔家歡樂沒搶到搶輸了都可以有個撒嬌的人。

      8.先森:“開飯啦!”,頭也不抬:“搶紅包呢!”,先森撇撇嘴:“財迷!”

      9.一行八人在高速上被一輛東莞車嚇死了,第一次感覺到死亡離我爸爸媽媽那么近,嚇到腿軟。為了壓驚,一行八人搶紅包至今。準備睡覺,晚安,多姿多彩的生活

      10.在公交上,我前面的男生搶紅包,特開心,一直微笑,然后對他身邊男生說“老弟.元是不是三分”。

      11.同事們在搶紅包玩,我在聽許巍的故鄉,她們說什么都聽不到,只感覺嬉笑怒罵聲隨著音樂飄向遠方。

      12.睡了美美的午覺,和老同學聚餐,在群里玩搶紅包。美好的一天,晚安。

      13.和姐姐一起看電視一起做飯搶紅包,和洛澄玩積木火車麻將捉貓貓,一家人想逛街就逛街,想吃就吃,和弟弟一起投籃玩賽車~這段日子想起以前小的時候也是一起玩的日子,很幸福,平凡卻甜蜜。

      14.我跟我朋友玩搶紅包搶的最少的人發每次都是我搶的最少還要發紅包簡直欺負人。

      15.昨晚搶紅包的經過是這樣的我看你們都沒發消息就去刷首頁,然后那時候突然看到有人轉發大哥回復林更新叔叔的那句話,然后我就去找,剛進去我看見評論有幾萬就懶得找,退出來后看到消息那有一個,然后我就看見群主發的紅包,然后就點開辣。

    要紅包的微信段子

      【親情篇】

      1、

      媽媽:兒子,你知道過年有哪些風俗習慣?

      兒子:我知道、我知道。做豆腐、包饅頭、貼春聯、吃餃子、放鞭炮,還有……

      媽媽:還有什么呢?

      兒子:還有微信搶紅包!

      2、

      媽媽:老盯著手機干什么?

      兒子:搶紅包。

      媽媽:能搶多少?

      兒子:看手法,有時候白忙,有時候幾分錢到一兩塊。

      媽媽:我給你10塊,你去給我把鍋刷了……

      【友情篇】

      3、

      有一位朋友,從吃完年夜飯開始,啥也沒干,光搶紅包了。成果如下:50元的勞斯萊斯購車代金券,20元的歐洲十國深度游現金券,100元的三亞海景別墅購房券。就在剛剛,剛剛,他居然搶到了100萬的紅包,100萬!100萬的波音747買飛機抵用券,太激動了!

      4、

      朋友,聽我一句勸吧,放下手機,走出微信紅包的世界,讀幾頁自己喜歡的書,出去陽光里走走,要么騎騎自行車,天黑了約幾個好久不見的朋友喝喝茶,聊聊天,隨便做些什么,一天下來,你就會發現,還是微信搶紅包有意思……

      【詩情篇】

      5、

      鋤禾日當午,不如搶錢苦。

      對著愛瘋六,一搶一上午。

      搶完了上午,還要搶下午。

      問你搶多少,總共兩塊五!

      一查流量費,超過二百五!

      6、

      邊看春晚邊吐槽

      搖著微信搶紅包

      發的總比搶的少

      各位土豪行行好

      【外媒篇】

      7、

      外媒報道,前天中國經濟陷入崩潰。有八成以上的中國人不能上班,夜間大量無業游民上街燃燒投擲爆炸物。大量無業游民酗酒賭博,剩下的部分人只能觀看電視度日。面對崩潰的末日,中國人只能一家人聚在一起,惶惶不安地守在一起,徹夜不眠地熬到第二天的日出。還有學校全部停課,工業全部停滯,百分之八十的店鋪關門,股市全部停盤。無數年輕人為了幾毛幾分錢而喪失理性……

      【學者篇】

      8、

      搶紅包的最新九型人格,你是哪一種?

      -爆炸型(付出型):土豪發紅包,各種大紅包!發的多,搶得少!

      -保守型:搶到了才會發!

      -領導型:群里沒什么人聊天,弄個小紅包看看有多少人在,善于調動氣氛!

      -努力型:會討紅包,搶到會感謝,奮戰第一線!

      -實干型:從來不說話,只是默默關注,有紅包就搶!

      -人才型:收到紅包回個小一點得紅包!

      -大氣型:收到一個小紅包,一定要發一個大紅包,不然會渾身不舒服!

      -任性型:看到紅包就不搶,收到紅包就不領。

      -聚寶盆型(貔貅):從來只進不出型!

    微信掃一掃關注樂享閱讀!

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