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    經典搞笑的征婚句子_有關搞笑的經典征婚語錄

    更新時間: 2017-03-13 閱讀:

      好的征婚啟事離不開精妙的語言打點。一些搞笑征婚語錄能夠凸顯你的幽默感。下面小編給大家分享一些經典搞笑的征婚句子,希望能幫到你!

    經典搞笑的征婚句子摘錄

      1.征婚,本人芳齡,一十八,身材賽過楊貴妃,臉蛋好比桃花開,文化水平雖不高,但是看書識字還可以,真心想找如意郎。

      2.本人家貧人丑,一米四九,農村戶口,主職喂狗,兼職放牛,現覓配偶,如下要求:鬼見不愁,人見不放狗,豬見不暴走!

      3.網絡征婚很流行,我也來把要求登:女方學歷低吾家,收入和吾不相差,長相不要太美呀,飯菜手藝頂呱呱,重要孝敬吾爸媽。

      4.大女年方,雖說年紀大了點,可是長相卻是貌美如花,不是我自夸,追我的人滿街是,可是沒有遇到心中的那個他,希望有緣人士快快來,趕快把我娶回家!

      5.天空是藍的,海水是咸的,街上的情侶是讓人眼饞的。人是平常的,心是善良的,沒對象的生活是遭人嫌的。今日征婚:哪個女子是好心腸的,心甘情愿做哥新娘的。

      6.小女子正值妙齡,小臉蛋長得水靈,小身材玉立婷婷,小聲音響如叮鈴,小小年紀已動芳心,小小人兒萌萌花情,征婚要求:小伙子模樣像明星,小身板均勻還有型,征婚語:小情侶牽手花廳,小夫妻結發遠行。

      7.女孩年芳二十八,生活困難缺錢花,今日上網來征婚,希望找個有錢人,年齡不是距離,身高不是差距,胖廋我也不理,只要有錢就能和你在一起,沒錢千萬別和我聯系。

      8.沒學歷沒文化,不會講笑話,沒別墅沒寶馬,工資八百八,沒拖累沒牽掛,只想有個家!

      9.本人王本山,今年二十三,已到發情期,欲把戀來談。工作在酒店,每天當領班,工資二千五,模樣較一般,住房有一套,不用愁借錢,想尋一美女,終身來做伴。

      10.房子暫時沒有,存款還未過萬,模樣平平常常,多看幾眼就會習慣。平日悠閑獨自游蕩,實在不行偷點小錢,沒有其它擅長,心地還算善良。廣集女伴:生活路漫長,過完一天算一天。

      11.身材五大三粗,臉盤圓圓呼呼,走路艱難好似上樹,找個女伴相攙相扶,吃飯要求大滋大補,睡覺好像還打呼嚕,看我圓圓的大肚,跟著我絕不會受苦,日子過的舒舒服服,賽過別人家的小豬。

      12.小伙兒特別帥,百元大鈔裝口袋,今日上網來征婚,誰人有緣把我跟。

      13.裸婚時代,沒錢,沒車,沒房,要得就是裸婚,讓我們把裸婚流行下去!

      14.人說婚姻是墳墓,我道婚姻是金庫!婚姻就是一棵樹,同為鴛鴦可同住!

      15.上聯:玉樹臨風英容談吐比潘安下聯:腰纏萬貫揮金如土富范蠡橫批:有種不要

      16.沒學歷沒文化,不會講笑話,沒別墅沒寶馬,工資八百八,沒拖累沒牽掛,只想有個家!

      17.我是某大學學生,條件優越是我認識女孩子的先決,所以特地呈上簡歷希望有意女生可以做本人的女友

      18.姑娘我雖不能一笑傾人,二笑傾城,三笑傾國,魚見冒泡,雁見高飛,月見月亮花見花開,卻也是好花一朵,身高你來量,體重你來稱,尋真誠可靠的牛糞一坨,要求能把我這朵小花越養越漂亮

      19.明月幾時有,把酒問青天,欲窮千里目,更上一層樓。一個好男人,歲,文學青年,在掃盲班時就已成績優異,加上錯別字總共會讀會寫余字,現覓與我有相同愛好之女文學青年,一同風花雪月,梅花三弄,有朋自遠方來,不亦樂乎。

      20.今日征婚我報道,脾氣溫和不暴躁,閑妻良母能做到,權利義務分得好:你掙錢來我管鈔,你做家務我跳操,丈母娘家你要跑,全當替我盡孝道,說東你不許西跑,花錢你要立刻掏,不能條條都做到,休想電話能要到!

      21.小女今年芳齡二十八,模樣恰似一朵花,纖纖細腰柳葉眉,櫻桃小嘴丹鳳眼,阿娜多姿賽西施。今誠尋覓有緣人,攜手共建愛家園。

      22.家住城頭垃圾站,每天都吃萬家飯,把手一伸來兩塊,買個冰棒很涼快,感情生活很苦惱,晚來睡覺沒人抱,今天上網來征婚,希望有人送上門。

      23.本人貌似潘安,體壯心寬,學富五車,愛好廣泛,薪水稍欠,四處流連,為了幸福,特找女伴,別無他求,要會做飯,只要管飽,我啥也干。

      24.哥流浪江湖已久,轉眼已到二十六,風雨飄搖的日子不好受,想找個美美讓我摟,不管你長的是美丑,只要心地善良解人憂,今后我的一切是你的所有,我心甘情愿被你拽著走。

      25.征婚:年過三十,身無一物,兩手空空,三思之后,四處尋找,五湖四海,不見蹤影,聽人教唆,來網一試,七情六欲,你我都有,八仙過海,你我網來,九來九往,十全十美。

    有關搞笑的經典征婚語錄

      1.一雙聚光的小眼睛,一張吃百家飯的大嘴,一對像芭蕉扇的大耳朵,最特殊的是長著一頭像稻草一樣的頭發。

      2.破屋三間,破門兩扇。煙熏火燎,十分難看。身殘志堅,心腸不爛。廣征女友,條件不限。活的就行,你看著辦。

      3.相貌佳,年芳二八,欲征王子,入贅我家。要求如下:年紀三十以上,貌美如花,志同道合,就最好啦......

      4.家中良田千畝,租的;身纏錢財萬貫,高利;家中人員成群,債主;如今上網征婚,盼望救星一位,相貌身材無謂,助我事業成功,領我人生輕松。

      5.現實生活很簡單,感情空間忒孤單,閑來無事來上網,表表條件來征婚,小伙兒今年二十八,干點個體把家發,希望找個另一半,花錢享福把在一塊。

      6.本人擁有傾國傾城之貌,閉月羞花之容,沉魚落雁之態,欲尋風流倜儻,英俊瀟灑,薄學多識,玉樹臨風,幽默風趣之有為青年喜結良緣,非誠勿擾。

      7.小女芳齡二八,上有老人兩代,佳人在水一方。容貌自慕壓倒桃花,身材人夸賽過柳丫。已到情竇初開年紀,欲覓知心人兒一個,執手百年,共度一生

      8.本人征婚:個子不矮但也不高,學歷不低但也不高,長相不丑但也不俊,收入不少但也不多,房子不小但也不大,車子不差但也不好。你若愿意速速聯系。

      9.姓名:缺心眼,性別:男,年齡:去年十八,職業:京城飯店總經理的保安,年收入:負幾萬(老是被罰款),夢想的目標:有房有車有錢,最好是女性。

      10.征婚:夏日酷暑難耐,近日母蚊來咬,藥物噴灑不少,效果一直不好,偶聽母蚊歌唱,好像要處對象,遂來網絡征婚,解除母蚊寂寞,解我挨咬苦惱,有意者傍晚時分,我家屋外恭候,希望一次搞定,速速離去私奔。

      11.家窮人丑,一米四九;小學文化,農村戶口;破屋三間,薄田一畝;冷鍋熱灶,老婆沒有;一年四季,藥不離口;今日這里,廣征女友;革命道路,并肩攜手。

      12.嫁給我的農場吧,錢過千萬,嫁給我的搶車位吧,好車不斷,嫁給我的花園吧,玫瑰香傳。哎喲,嫁給我,我有七鉆!

      13.長相要說的過去。不要太漂亮,也不要太丑,一般即可。太漂亮的女人讓人擔心,太丑的女人看了不舒服。所謂一般,就是五官端正,看著順眼。過度自戀的勿擾。

      14.我是86年的,大我幾歲小我兩歲都沒關系。最好是80后的,畢竟同一個時代的人更能說到一起。90后的思想太個性。

      15.個性要獨立。你賺不賺錢都無所謂,但必須有獨立生存的能力。不要什么事都指望我,我要找的是女朋友,不是女兒,也不是情人

    搞笑幽默的精彩征婚語錄

      1.談過3個以上男朋友的勿擾。不管你是因為什么原因和前3個男朋友分手,如果是連甩三人,那你就是水性揚花,如果是連被甩三次,那你真不是什么好人,可憐之人必有可恨之處。

      2.“非主流”的勿擾。我骨子里比較傳統,你們的行為過于怪異,我看不下去。我們生活的不是一個星球,我對外星人是有敵意的。

      3.懂事。不要無理取鬧,更不能在朋友面前不給我面子。面子對我很重要,你要撕了我面子我就真不要臉了。

      4.耳洞不能超過2個。我不想看見你身上有太多窟窿,我要的是一個完整的人,不欣賞殘缺的美,而且我也沒那么多錢給你買兩個以上的耳環。

      5.化濃妝的勿擾。清新,干凈,可以是淡妝,但黑白過于鮮明,抹的像個厲鬼或者火雞或者性工作者的請自重。

      6.暴牙勿擾。我不想讓接吻成為噩夢。

      7.這些年來我像一只候鳥,張開希望的羽翼,從一座城市到另一座城市。有人說,熱愛一座城市是因為城市里有那個人。在遇上你之前,我只能馬不停蹄。...

      8.曾經在某人身邊猝然駐足。擦肩的剎那,我知道:那不是你!...

      9.你也不用太有錢。只要踏實勤奮地干好你的本職工作,你就是最棒的男人。當然,你也別太窮,貧賤夫妻百事哀。生活水平比上不足比下有余,我認為就可以了。

      10.我喜歡你是有豐富閱歷的成熟男人,對生活有很深的感悟,有一雙火眼金睛洞悉人間萬象。我是個有些孩子氣的女人,雖行走江湖多年依然內心晶瑩。還有點戀父情結。因此,希望你是60年代生人。


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